Last year I made a decision to look into ways in which I could work towards becoming more sustainable in my choices (already doing the basics - using reusable cups/straws etc) and my first move was to swap from disposable cotton wool pads to reusable bamboo cotton pads (I wrote a post, read it here). At the end of 2020, after months of research I took my second step and made the change to reusable period products. Now I wanted to share my experience and my review of this "swap" as it is still a topic on the internet that isn't widely discussed and actually I think I would have done it sooner if more information had been available with honest thoughts on the products.
One of the reasons I decided to make this swap was after reading some alarming statistics around sanitary products.... for instance that 1 disposable sanitary towel can take up to 800 years to decompose!....this is such a scary number especially as I still have lots of periods ahead of me in my life and my little boy is still in nappies so those are building up too. I had done some research into making this change before but was put off by the cost, the lack of information around the products available and sadly the gross factor. I really don't know why it grossed me out so much, we are kind of going backwards to how ladies in the "olden days" dealt with periods, they certainly didn't have access to tampons or disposable sanitary towels, did they? I also looked into the menstrual cup side of the market but decided as I am not a fan of tampons that I wasn't keen on trying a cup.... I may take another look.
I stumbled across Wear'em Out over on Instagram, when the new print collaboration with Emily Brooks went live and my boss posted about buying them. I clicked on the Instagram handle and was blown away not only by the products themselves but the amazing lady behind the brand - Lauren. Her honesty and the amount of information she has across her social media, really helps to demystify the world of reusable plus the outstanding reviews speak for themselves....and two orders later I am hooked and no longer dread my period arriving - a sentence I never thought I would ever say! Plus I loved that this is an independent business and the pads are made in UK.
The other reason I wanted to try an alternative to disposables was actually comfort....apologies this bit may be a little TMI!
I struggle with very heavy periods for the first few days, night times especially are so annoying, I regularly leak, even wearing a night time, super absorbent pad and my poor bedding will get washed almost daily, and this is usually due to the disposable towel bunching up during the night and not staying in place. This was the feature of the Wear'em Out pads that really grabbed my attention, that because of fabric & design that this won't happen! Also and I didn't even think of this until it happened on my last period, if you get caught out on the first day, there is nothing worse than the disposable not sticking to your knickers because there is a little blood there! with poppers on the reusable pad, this isn't gonna happen to you again.
Now I am not gonna lie, it is an investment switching to reusable pads, something that really made me consider not switching, however, when you learn that these pads if looked after, will last for as long as four years it makes it seem a lot more worth it, especially when you add up how many disposable pads you would use in that time. With that in mind, when I placed my first order - I only bought a couple of pads, mainly because I wasn't 100% sure what size I would actually need. The pads are available in four different sizes - the mini flo, the medium flo, the mega flo and the mega mega flo. I normally go for the biggest, highest absorbency pads but after reading the reviews I thought that this may not be what I needed and I didn't want to invest in things I wasn't going to use (and I am glad I did this as I have no need for the mini flo size). I then went back and ordered more along with one of the Out & About bags once I had an idea on what I needed specifically for my periods. I have been using these pads for three months, I now know I will need to add a couple more pads to my stash and will do soon.....holding out for the next collaboration to be announced!
My Collection
So as it stands I have the following pads, all are part of the Emily Brooks Fierce collaboration but the original print is just as cute and the New ocean wave design has just been launched..
2 x Medium flo - perfect everyday size for me from day two of my period.
2 x Mega flo - for those heavier first days of my period
2x Mega Mega flo - for bedtime
The Out & About bag
My Experience
So as I said before I have been using these pads for three months now, so have really got a feel for them and can give an honest review.
The first thing I will comment on is how soft the pads are, as soon as you pop one into your knickers you can barely feel it....even after a few hours, which is when a disposable would usually start to bunch up or have moved. I feel like they move with you rather than feeling rigid which as they are thicker than a disposable, surprised me. I have even managed to do Yoga and a barre class whilst wearing one, which would not normally happen whilst on my period as I wouldn't feel secure.
I have been able to wear just two pads during the day, and one overnight, this is half the amount I would normally have used with disposables, the absorbency of these pads is phenomenal - you do not expect something to hold so much blood and still feel fresh. *The number of pads will obviously be variable and a personal thing dependant on your flow but I felt clean and so comfortable. The best bit for me is, no night time leaks, for the first time in years! The Mega mega pad is ideal for night time, the longer length gives me extra wiggle protection. I also felt a lot fresher first thing in the morning and can safely wear cute PJs without the fear of washing everyday.
The process of cleaning when you change pads is so simple, simply rinse off (I usually do mine in the shower first thing or the sink during the day) then hang up to dry, I use a radiator rack so that they get some heat but are not directly on it. It is worth noting I have only been at home during this time due to the UK lockdown - but I have no anxiety about going out and about in them and changing on the go. The only difference when out of the house would be rinsing off the pad then popping into the specially designed, waterproof Out & About pouch until you are back at home. The pouch is split into two sections - one for the used pad and the other for the fresh, clean pad. Then at the end of your cycle you can just pop all the pads and your out & about bag into the washing machine for a full wash, just remember not to use fabric softener as it can affect the pads absorbency. Once dry they are ready for next month.
I don't know if it is linked to switching to these pads but I have noticed changes in my period - they are not as uncomfortable as they used to be, I feel like my periods have become a little lighter and I seem to have less notice of it arriving (no pre-period pain). These may not be linked but worth noting - would be good to know if anyone else has noticed a change since swapping to reusable products.
The Wear'em Out pads cost between £8.99 for a mini flo and £10.99 for a mega mega flo and there are bundles available in the store which do give you some savings, but buying individually means you can add to your collection when you want to.
Overall I would say I have had a really positive experience using Wear'em Out pads and would highly recommend making the change, not only for environmental/sustainable reasons, but also for long term cost savings as well as comfort.
For lots more information about the pads as well as the sustainable side of the brand and to shop the full range, head to Wear 'em Out. I would also say head over to the Instagram page as it is a wealth of knowledge and really lovely to see behind the scenes on an independent business.....plus Lauren is so lovely @wearemoutpads
I would love to know if you have made the swap to reusable - what brands have you used and would you recommend any other products. I am now looking into alternatives to cotton wool buds.
♡
Wear'em Out Reusable Sanitary Pads - Review
Last year I made a decision to look into ways in which I could work towards becoming more sustainable in my choices (already doing the basics - using reusable cups/straws etc) and my first move was to swap from disposable cotton wool pads to reusable bamboo cotton pads (I wrote a post, read it here). At the end of 2020, after months of research I took my second step and made the change to reusable period products. Now I wanted to share my experience and my review of this "swap" as it is still a topic on the internet that isn't widely discussed and actually I think I would have done it sooner if more information had been available with honest thoughts on the products.
One of the reasons I decided to make this swap was after reading some alarming statistics around sanitary products.... for instance that 1 disposable sanitary towel can take up to 800 years to decompose!....this is such a scary number especially as I still have lots of periods ahead of me in my life and my little boy is still in nappies so those are building up too. I had done some research into making this change before but was put off by the cost, the lack of information around the products available and sadly the gross factor. I really don't know why it grossed me out so much, we are kind of going backwards to how ladies in the "olden days" dealt with periods, they certainly didn't have access to tampons or disposable sanitary towels, did they? I also looked into the menstrual cup side of the market but decided as I am not a fan of tampons that I wasn't keen on trying a cup.... I may take another look.
I stumbled across Wear'em Out over on Instagram, when the new print collaboration with Emily Brooks went live and my boss posted about buying them. I clicked on the Instagram handle and was blown away not only by the products themselves but the amazing lady behind the brand - Lauren. Her honesty and the amount of information she has across her social media, really helps to demystify the world of reusable plus the outstanding reviews speak for themselves....and two orders later I am hooked and no longer dread my period arriving - a sentence I never thought I would ever say! Plus I loved that this is an independent business and the pads are made in UK.
The other reason I wanted to try an alternative to disposables was actually comfort....apologies this bit may be a little TMI!
I struggle with very heavy periods for the first few days, night times especially are so annoying, I regularly leak, even wearing a night time, super absorbent pad and my poor bedding will get washed almost daily, and this is usually due to the disposable towel bunching up during the night and not staying in place. This was the feature of the Wear'em Out pads that really grabbed my attention, that because of fabric & design that this won't happen! Also and I didn't even think of this until it happened on my last period, if you get caught out on the first day, there is nothing worse than the disposable not sticking to your knickers because there is a little blood there! with poppers on the reusable pad, this isn't gonna happen to you again.
Now I am not gonna lie, it is an investment switching to reusable pads, something that really made me consider not switching, however, when you learn that these pads if looked after, will last for as long as four years it makes it seem a lot more worth it, especially when you add up how many disposable pads you would use in that time. With that in mind, when I placed my first order - I only bought a couple of pads, mainly because I wasn't 100% sure what size I would actually need. The pads are available in four different sizes - the mini flo, the medium flo, the mega flo and the mega mega flo. I normally go for the biggest, highest absorbency pads but after reading the reviews I thought that this may not be what I needed and I didn't want to invest in things I wasn't going to use (and I am glad I did this as I have no need for the mini flo size). I then went back and ordered more along with one of the Out & About bags once I had an idea on what I needed specifically for my periods. I have been using these pads for three months, I now know I will need to add a couple more pads to my stash and will do soon.....holding out for the next collaboration to be announced!
My Collection
So as it stands I have the following pads, all are part of the Emily Brooks Fierce collaboration but the original print is just as cute and the New ocean wave design has just been launched..
2 x Medium flo - perfect everyday size for me from day two of my period.
2 x Mega flo - for those heavier first days of my period
2x Mega Mega flo - for bedtime
The Out & About bag
My Experience
So as I said before I have been using these pads for three months now, so have really got a feel for them and can give an honest review.
The first thing I will comment on is how soft the pads are, as soon as you pop one into your knickers you can barely feel it....even after a few hours, which is when a disposable would usually start to bunch up or have moved. I feel like they move with you rather than feeling rigid which as they are thicker than a disposable, surprised me. I have even managed to do Yoga and a barre class whilst wearing one, which would not normally happen whilst on my period as I wouldn't feel secure.
I have been able to wear just two pads during the day, and one overnight, this is half the amount I would normally have used with disposables, the absorbency of these pads is phenomenal - you do not expect something to hold so much blood and still feel fresh. *The number of pads will obviously be variable and a personal thing dependant on your flow but I felt clean and so comfortable. The best bit for me is, no night time leaks, for the first time in years! The Mega mega pad is ideal for night time, the longer length gives me extra wiggle protection. I also felt a lot fresher first thing in the morning and can safely wear cute PJs without the fear of washing everyday.
The process of cleaning when you change pads is so simple, simply rinse off (I usually do mine in the shower first thing or the sink during the day) then hang up to dry, I use a radiator rack so that they get some heat but are not directly on it. It is worth noting I have only been at home during this time due to the UK lockdown - but I have no anxiety about going out and about in them and changing on the go. The only difference when out of the house would be rinsing off the pad then popping into the specially designed, waterproof Out & About pouch until you are back at home. The pouch is split into two sections - one for the used pad and the other for the fresh, clean pad. Then at the end of your cycle you can just pop all the pads and your out & about bag into the washing machine for a full wash, just remember not to use fabric softener as it can affect the pads absorbency. Once dry they are ready for next month.
I don't know if it is linked to switching to these pads but I have noticed changes in my period - they are not as uncomfortable as they used to be, I feel like my periods have become a little lighter and I seem to have less notice of it arriving (no pre-period pain). These may not be linked but worth noting - would be good to know if anyone else has noticed a change since swapping to reusable products.
The Wear'em Out pads cost between £8.99 for a mini flo and £10.99 for a mega mega flo and there are bundles available in the store which do give you some savings, but buying individually means you can add to your collection when you want to.
Overall I would say I have had a really positive experience using Wear'em Out pads and would highly recommend making the change, not only for environmental/sustainable reasons, but also for long term cost savings as well as comfort.
For lots more information about the pads as well as the sustainable side of the brand and to shop the full range, head to Wear 'em Out. I would also say head over to the Instagram page as it is a wealth of knowledge and really lovely to see behind the scenes on an independent business.....plus Lauren is so lovely @wearemoutpads
I would love to know if you have made the swap to reusable - what brands have you used and would you recommend any other products. I am now looking into alternatives to cotton wool buds.
♡
In collaboration with the Crafts Council, Misshapes is a touring exhibition celebrating 20 years of the quirky, individual British jewellery brand Tatty Devine. When I found out about this exhibition, I instantly knew I needed to go.....expecting it to be in London as most of the best exhibitions are so was over the moon to discover that this amazing exhibition was touring the UK, with 7 venues across the UK, including Leicester where I live!
Misshapes is the first solo show about Tatty Devine and will explore entrepreneurship, innovative British making and the power of creativity. Jewellery, sketchbooks, photos and flyers alongside two newly commissioned films will all tell the story of this creative duo. - Crafts CouncilTatty Devine is a brand that is close to my heart - a massive fan from the age of about 17. I first discovered the brand when it was featured in a Vogue feature and I remember thinking how different the pieces were. I purchased my first piece of jewellery when I was in college, I decided on my name in bright pink acrylic with a little heart charm. I loved the quirky, colourful nature of the brand and the statement, individual pieces of jewellery - it was like wearable art. I felt such an affiliation for the brand that I actually did a months work experience in the Brick Lane studio over the summer of my 2nd year of University (which I have scarily calculated was 13 years ago!!). I learnt so much not only about the brand and how to make jewellery but also a lot about myself and my personal style during that month, emersing myself in London and loving every minute. The huge dinoasur necklace shown in the above photo, was one of the many pieces in the collection that I worked on.... that dino was a bugger to make, all those individual bones had to be connected together with split rings! #fiddly
Displayed in the De Montfort University Gallery, this perfectly curated collection, highlighted the history and heritage of the brand and showcased some beautiful pieces. A short film played alongside the exhibition, sharing the brands story through the eyes of the two founders, Harriet Vine & Rosie Wolfdenden. Some amazing retro footage with some truly epic vintage fashion and the perfect summary of the vision and passion behind Tatty Devine. Above are some of the pieces from the exhibition, pieces that resinated with my memories of Tatty Devine and the whimsical design that is synonomous with the brand.
Can we take a moment to apreciate the wide colour palette in acrylics that the brand works with, some of these shades are just gorgeous. The first company to work in laser cut acrylics and they are staying true to this heritage and still to this day work mainly in this medium. This was an element of my work experience I found very interesting, watching a simple CAD image being loaded into the cutting machine and watching it seamlessly cut all of these intricate shapes out, that were simply popped out from the sheet of acrylic and made into jewellery.
Although my jewellery tastes have changed a lot, these days I prefer much more classic, simple pieces, I will always love Tatty Devine and the collections they make, the perfect reminder of my Uni days. Plus I do have a few pieces statshed away for centimental value - a black pegasus wing necklace, wooden mouse necklace, personalised charm necklace, flower bracelet and my origional name necklace.
Would love to hear if you have visited the exhibition and which was your favourite piece?
- ♡ -
Although the exhibition is half over there are still a few dates if you want to check it out....
Stephen Lawrence Gallery, University of Greenwich (27th February - 1st April 2020)
Tŷ Pawb, Wrexham, Wales (10th July - 13th September 2020)
Hove Museum and Art Gallery, Brighton and Hove (3rd October 2020 - 26th January 2021)
New Brewery Arts, Cirencester, Cotswolds (21th June - 10th September 2021)
Also to celebrate this exhibition, the Birthday Collection is now avaliable on the website - click here to SHOP
(Image taken from Tattydevine.com)
Misshapes: The Making Of Tatty Devine - The Exhibition
In collaboration with the Crafts Council, Misshapes is a touring exhibition celebrating 20 years of the quirky, individual British jewellery brand Tatty Devine. When I found out about this exhibition, I instantly knew I needed to go.....expecting it to be in London as most of the best exhibitions are so was over the moon to discover that this amazing exhibition was touring the UK, with 7 venues across the UK, including Leicester where I live!
Misshapes is the first solo show about Tatty Devine and will explore entrepreneurship, innovative British making and the power of creativity. Jewellery, sketchbooks, photos and flyers alongside two newly commissioned films will all tell the story of this creative duo. - Crafts CouncilTatty Devine is a brand that is close to my heart - a massive fan from the age of about 17. I first discovered the brand when it was featured in a Vogue feature and I remember thinking how different the pieces were. I purchased my first piece of jewellery when I was in college, I decided on my name in bright pink acrylic with a little heart charm. I loved the quirky, colourful nature of the brand and the statement, individual pieces of jewellery - it was like wearable art. I felt such an affiliation for the brand that I actually did a months work experience in the Brick Lane studio over the summer of my 2nd year of University (which I have scarily calculated was 13 years ago!!). I learnt so much not only about the brand and how to make jewellery but also a lot about myself and my personal style during that month, emersing myself in London and loving every minute. The huge dinoasur necklace shown in the above photo, was one of the many pieces in the collection that I worked on.... that dino was a bugger to make, all those individual bones had to be connected together with split rings! #fiddly
Displayed in the De Montfort University Gallery, this perfectly curated collection, highlighted the history and heritage of the brand and showcased some beautiful pieces. A short film played alongside the exhibition, sharing the brands story through the eyes of the two founders, Harriet Vine & Rosie Wolfdenden. Some amazing retro footage with some truly epic vintage fashion and the perfect summary of the vision and passion behind Tatty Devine. Above are some of the pieces from the exhibition, pieces that resinated with my memories of Tatty Devine and the whimsical design that is synonomous with the brand.
Can we take a moment to apreciate the wide colour palette in acrylics that the brand works with, some of these shades are just gorgeous. The first company to work in laser cut acrylics and they are staying true to this heritage and still to this day work mainly in this medium. This was an element of my work experience I found very interesting, watching a simple CAD image being loaded into the cutting machine and watching it seamlessly cut all of these intricate shapes out, that were simply popped out from the sheet of acrylic and made into jewellery.
Although my jewellery tastes have changed a lot, these days I prefer much more classic, simple pieces, I will always love Tatty Devine and the collections they make, the perfect reminder of my Uni days. Plus I do have a few pieces statshed away for centimental value - a black pegasus wing necklace, wooden mouse necklace, personalised charm necklace, flower bracelet and my origional name necklace.
Would love to hear if you have visited the exhibition and which was your favourite piece?
- ♡ -
Although the exhibition is half over there are still a few dates if you want to check it out....
Stephen Lawrence Gallery, University of Greenwich (27th February - 1st April 2020)
Tŷ Pawb, Wrexham, Wales (10th July - 13th September 2020)
Hove Museum and Art Gallery, Brighton and Hove (3rd October 2020 - 26th January 2021)
New Brewery Arts, Cirencester, Cotswolds (21th June - 10th September 2021)
Also to celebrate this exhibition, the Birthday Collection is now avaliable on the website - click here to SHOP
(Image taken from Tattydevine.com)
But are you in a position to make that choice or has it already made it for you?
I had such grand plans in my head when I got pregnant – I wanted to be a stay at home mum for as long as I could, but soon realised this approach was a little naive, not only would money run out but actually I need to be around adults sometimes and get some mental stimulation – you can only watch “Hey Duggee” for so long before your brain starts to wilt. I then decided returning to work part time - ideally three days a week - would give me the work/life balance that I wanted, so I put my flexible working request in writing to the company I work for, with reasons and a business case behind the request.
A month later I had a face to face meeting, and discussed in detail why I was making the request and how I saw the role working in part time hours (during this meeting it become clear to me that the people involved hadn't read my letter, despite it being policy to send such a letter). I was very clear that full time hours were not what I wanted, nor were they financially viable with nursery and travel costs - I left the meeting feeling confident that this had been understood. However a month later I received a letter stating that my job isn't doable three days a week (it's not a new job and i've been doing it for five years) and that they propose I continue working 40 hours a week with special dispensation to take two days a month to work from home to help with childcare..... first of all I work in a job that is impossible to do from home, plus I would still be paying for the day at nursery even if little man was at home with me - how does that help?
Receiving this letter left me feeling angry (that the decision had not be delivered in person), that i was being pushed out (as I had been offered something they knew full well I wouldn't take) and pretty worthless (clearly my five years with the company did not matter) and to top it off the wording of the letter strongly suggested that there was no reasonable compromise on their part. So my return to work experience has ended in my resignation, as I felt as though i have been left with no other option than to find a new job. I was given the option to appeal, however the letter got me thinking – Do I really want to work for a company that doesn’t believe a job can be flexible?
I do believe after this experience, if you truly love your job and are willing to fight to keep it then appealing would be beneficial but when you don't what are your options? I want to spend time with my son, enjoy his early years and watch him grow up but I do need some form of income. I have decided to look at this as the next chapter in my life and a new challenge, with the hope to return to buying in the future.
So why even in this modern age, when feminism is such a hot topic along with pay equality, is it so difficult for a woman to return to work. After doing some research I was very surprised by this statistic featured online in the Independent last year, especially after hearing so many women talk about not be able to return to their pre-baby jobs, but the stats in this article don't give information on the kind of work women are actually doing and whether it was their first choice - that would make for some very interesting reading.
The number of working mothers in the UK has surged by 1.2 million over the past two decades, official figures have revealed. There are now 4.9 million mothers with dependent children in work, up almost a third from 3.7 million in 1996, the Office for National Statistics found. The increase means close to three-quarters of women with dependent children are now in work. - The Independent - Sept 2016I have found this topic so interesting, and it was really put into perspective for me after chatting to some friends at my local baby group, as so many of these ladies have had to adjust their expectations of being a "working mum". Whether that's reducing hours, negotiating working from home, or simply resigning and starting over. It seems as though corporate companies especially have become smart, knowing how to say no to flexible working without breaking any rules - forcing women to choose between motherhood and a career or at least a change in career. It also seems to be very job/boss dependent as to whether you are able to return to work with hours that suit your needs, but it is a comfort to me to hear just how many people have had to rethink on the job front as their pre-baby positions were no longer compatible or accommodating to motherhood - sad but so true.
So I thought I would share some thoughts from my amazing mummy friends (and a cheeky daddy view too) on their experience of returning to work...... the good & the bad, as there are companies that will bend over backwards to support you and your needs, they just seem to be few and far between:
I had worked my way up the career ladder, into a senior role which I loved, but was told the only way to come back part time after maternity was to take a step down, which also came with a sizable pay cut. I mainly felt anger, at working my butt off for years to get to where I was and all of that hard work being instantly forgotten the moment I chose to be a mother, especially as I know I could have done the job in reduced hours, I could do it in my sleep! - Anonymous
The company policy for Flexible Working Request was clear to state that any reasonable change to hours or working arrangement would be considered. I put together a business case for my return to work meeting, requesting reduced hours of 21 per week. I proposed a change of responsibilities where I focus exclusively on a growing part of the business and suggested how the rest of my role could be distributed amongst the team. Three days later they call to accept my proposal subject to 6 month review. - Anonymous
When it’s your first you feel guilty and try to make sure you spend more time with them than at work...by the third you are thankful for a cup of tea in peace at work. I’m very lucky as work for my dad so if kids are Ill I can stay off but then you get stressed as still got work to do! - Amy
After going through this process multiple times, with a few different employers, i have had both good and bad experiences. In my opinion flexible working is a fantastic and a very worthy issue. I know it works and is cost effective to companies, but I also know how badly its rolled out or promoted. I feel like a second class citizen and a troublemaker when requesting it. It has been the most stressful part of my pregnancy/new baby journey and it really shows that some companies may promote it to look like they are progressive and being proactive when in reality, putting it into practice is non-existent. I truly believe that each time I’ve returned to work, to a whole new role its because they have wanted me to decline and leave – to make it as unattractive as possible to put you off. It’s a real minefield out there... - Nicola
Flexible Working is the latest buzz word – EVERYONE claims it exists in the workplace and every company will sing loudly that they encourage it, but scratch the surface and its soon becomes a murky water. I am lucky that I have a boss and a role within my company that gives me the freedom to work from wherever I please – if that’s home, then that’s fine – as long as the work gets done, it doesn’t matter to my boss. Other people in other teams within my company don’t have that luxury – how is this fair? How is this acceptable in 2018? – Daddy Anonymous
The Realities of Returning to Work as a Mum
But are you in a position to make that choice or has it already made it for you?
I had such grand plans in my head when I got pregnant – I wanted to be a stay at home mum for as long as I could, but soon realised this approach was a little naive, not only would money run out but actually I need to be around adults sometimes and get some mental stimulation – you can only watch “Hey Duggee” for so long before your brain starts to wilt. I then decided returning to work part time - ideally three days a week - would give me the work/life balance that I wanted, so I put my flexible working request in writing to the company I work for, with reasons and a business case behind the request.
A month later I had a face to face meeting, and discussed in detail why I was making the request and how I saw the role working in part time hours (during this meeting it become clear to me that the people involved hadn't read my letter, despite it being policy to send such a letter). I was very clear that full time hours were not what I wanted, nor were they financially viable with nursery and travel costs - I left the meeting feeling confident that this had been understood. However a month later I received a letter stating that my job isn't doable three days a week (it's not a new job and i've been doing it for five years) and that they propose I continue working 40 hours a week with special dispensation to take two days a month to work from home to help with childcare..... first of all I work in a job that is impossible to do from home, plus I would still be paying for the day at nursery even if little man was at home with me - how does that help?
Receiving this letter left me feeling angry (that the decision had not be delivered in person), that i was being pushed out (as I had been offered something they knew full well I wouldn't take) and pretty worthless (clearly my five years with the company did not matter) and to top it off the wording of the letter strongly suggested that there was no reasonable compromise on their part. So my return to work experience has ended in my resignation, as I felt as though i have been left with no other option than to find a new job. I was given the option to appeal, however the letter got me thinking – Do I really want to work for a company that doesn’t believe a job can be flexible?
I do believe after this experience, if you truly love your job and are willing to fight to keep it then appealing would be beneficial but when you don't what are your options? I want to spend time with my son, enjoy his early years and watch him grow up but I do need some form of income. I have decided to look at this as the next chapter in my life and a new challenge, with the hope to return to buying in the future.
So why even in this modern age, when feminism is such a hot topic along with pay equality, is it so difficult for a woman to return to work. After doing some research I was very surprised by this statistic featured online in the Independent last year, especially after hearing so many women talk about not be able to return to their pre-baby jobs, but the stats in this article don't give information on the kind of work women are actually doing and whether it was their first choice - that would make for some very interesting reading.
The number of working mothers in the UK has surged by 1.2 million over the past two decades, official figures have revealed. There are now 4.9 million mothers with dependent children in work, up almost a third from 3.7 million in 1996, the Office for National Statistics found. The increase means close to three-quarters of women with dependent children are now in work. - The Independent - Sept 2016I have found this topic so interesting, and it was really put into perspective for me after chatting to some friends at my local baby group, as so many of these ladies have had to adjust their expectations of being a "working mum". Whether that's reducing hours, negotiating working from home, or simply resigning and starting over. It seems as though corporate companies especially have become smart, knowing how to say no to flexible working without breaking any rules - forcing women to choose between motherhood and a career or at least a change in career. It also seems to be very job/boss dependent as to whether you are able to return to work with hours that suit your needs, but it is a comfort to me to hear just how many people have had to rethink on the job front as their pre-baby positions were no longer compatible or accommodating to motherhood - sad but so true.
So I thought I would share some thoughts from my amazing mummy friends (and a cheeky daddy view too) on their experience of returning to work...... the good & the bad, as there are companies that will bend over backwards to support you and your needs, they just seem to be few and far between:
I had worked my way up the career ladder, into a senior role which I loved, but was told the only way to come back part time after maternity was to take a step down, which also came with a sizable pay cut. I mainly felt anger, at working my butt off for years to get to where I was and all of that hard work being instantly forgotten the moment I chose to be a mother, especially as I know I could have done the job in reduced hours, I could do it in my sleep! - Anonymous
The company policy for Flexible Working Request was clear to state that any reasonable change to hours or working arrangement would be considered. I put together a business case for my return to work meeting, requesting reduced hours of 21 per week. I proposed a change of responsibilities where I focus exclusively on a growing part of the business and suggested how the rest of my role could be distributed amongst the team. Three days later they call to accept my proposal subject to 6 month review. - Anonymous
When it’s your first you feel guilty and try to make sure you spend more time with them than at work...by the third you are thankful for a cup of tea in peace at work. I’m very lucky as work for my dad so if kids are Ill I can stay off but then you get stressed as still got work to do! - Amy
After going through this process multiple times, with a few different employers, i have had both good and bad experiences. In my opinion flexible working is a fantastic and a very worthy issue. I know it works and is cost effective to companies, but I also know how badly its rolled out or promoted. I feel like a second class citizen and a troublemaker when requesting it. It has been the most stressful part of my pregnancy/new baby journey and it really shows that some companies may promote it to look like they are progressive and being proactive when in reality, putting it into practice is non-existent. I truly believe that each time I’ve returned to work, to a whole new role its because they have wanted me to decline and leave – to make it as unattractive as possible to put you off. It’s a real minefield out there... - Nicola
Flexible Working is the latest buzz word – EVERYONE claims it exists in the workplace and every company will sing loudly that they encourage it, but scratch the surface and its soon becomes a murky water. I am lucky that I have a boss and a role within my company that gives me the freedom to work from wherever I please – if that’s home, then that’s fine – as long as the work gets done, it doesn’t matter to my boss. Other people in other teams within my company don’t have that luxury – how is this fair? How is this acceptable in 2018? – Daddy Anonymous
My monthly series, sharing the food, places, fashion, beauty and entertainment that I'm currently enjoying....
also including some #babysheath favourites too
Decided to start the new year with a fresh do - highlights and a trim. Gorgeous multi tones of blonde, dark brown and rose gold to give it some depth and texture but kept very subtle. Love it so much, although i had that much foil in my thick hair i was picking up the local radio station!
Feel like a new woman!
Just in case any mum's are interested i have left class details here...
10. Sleeping bags
Monthly Favourites #7
My monthly series, sharing the food, places, fashion, beauty and entertainment that I'm currently enjoying....
also including some #babysheath favourites too
Decided to start the new year with a fresh do - highlights and a trim. Gorgeous multi tones of blonde, dark brown and rose gold to give it some depth and texture but kept very subtle. Love it so much, although i had that much foil in my thick hair i was picking up the local radio station!
Feel like a new woman!
Just in case any mum's are interested i have left class details here...
10. Sleeping bags
@theglitterfashionista
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#25 Days of Christmas Photo challenge
@theglitterfashionista
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I don't know about anyone else, but as soon as i found out i was pregnant my Instagram feed changed almost overnight, i found scrolling through accounts by mums weirdly comforting, especially before i shared my news. I found the world of social media incredibly helpful during my pregnancy, and now as an additional resource for this new mum. There is something quite calming about watching others actually experiencing motherhood and seeing what family life means to them, whilst finding that comfortable balance between sharing and privacy.
Last up is Rebecca aka Mrs Meldrum, whose beautiful Instagram feed i actually found through her youtube channel (guilty pleasure - Primark hauls!). It has been amazing to follow her latest pregnancy, as i have been able to pick up allsorts of tips and product recommendations as she too was buying for a newborn. I love the energy and fun in Rebeccas' feed, so many amazing pictures of her two little girls, the new baby and all of their family adventures. She has a great mix of vlogs, product reviews as well as plenty of fashion hauls. I love that her husband is also heavily involved in the channel and offers a great dad perspective on life with three kids.
❤
Are there any other Instagram mum's you think i should be following?
*All imagery from the above Instagram accounts @thismamalife, @amothersedit & @mrsmeldrum
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3 Instagram mums you should follow....
I don't know about anyone else, but as soon as i found out i was pregnant my Instagram feed changed almost overnight, i found scrolling through accounts by mums weirdly comforting, especially before i shared my news. I found the world of social media incredibly helpful during my pregnancy, and now as an additional resource for this new mum. There is something quite calming about watching others actually experiencing motherhood and seeing what family life means to them, whilst finding that comfortable balance between sharing and privacy.
Last up is Rebecca aka Mrs Meldrum, whose beautiful Instagram feed i actually found through her youtube channel (guilty pleasure - Primark hauls!). It has been amazing to follow her latest pregnancy, as i have been able to pick up allsorts of tips and product recommendations as she too was buying for a newborn. I love the energy and fun in Rebeccas' feed, so many amazing pictures of her two little girls, the new baby and all of their family adventures. She has a great mix of vlogs, product reviews as well as plenty of fashion hauls. I love that her husband is also heavily involved in the channel and offers a great dad perspective on life with three kids.
❤
Are there any other Instagram mum's you think i should be following?
*All imagery from the above Instagram accounts @thismamalife, @amothersedit & @mrsmeldrum
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